The goal of healing isn't just stopping the crisis. It's ultimately moving into genuine and meaningful connection with ourselves, each other, and the world around us. Join licensed therapist and author Geoff Steurer and his wife, Jody Steurer, as they share ways to move out of the crisis of sexual betrayal and relationship betrayal trauma toward connection. The information in these discussions transcends religious and cultural lines, as we all seek the same healing power of connection.
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Can Safety Needs Go Too Far? - Episode 248
23:46
23:46
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23:46
The safety needs for a betrayed partner immediately following betrayal can often feel extreme initially, but are crucial for the nervous system’s stability and recovery. Join us as we discuss how the betrayed partner's safety can be ensured by eliminating triggers and threats, and the importance of the betraying partner's responsiveness to these ne…
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An Affair, a Murder, and a Divorce - with Ashlee Boyson - Episode 247
46:18
46:18
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46:18
In this heartfelt interview, Ashlee Boyson shares her powerful story of overcoming devastating betrayal and loss. Starting from the time she became distant from her husband following the birth of their fifth child, Ashlee describes the overwhelming anxiety and turmoil she faced, culminating in discovering her husband's infidelity and his tragic mur…
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Building a Life After Divorce - Episode 246
21:56
21:56
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21:56
In this episode I share a question from a listener coping with life after divorce. Men tend to have less social support than women, often due to couple and family friendships being more driven by the women. This can leave men feeling isolated and lonely after divorce if those friendships ended when the marriage dissolved. Join me as I discuss the e…
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Unintentionally Hurting Your Partner - Episode 245
19:14
19:14
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19:14
There is a metaphor used in the Boy Scouts called the “blood circle”. To summarize, it encourages young boys to create an area around you where you are less likely to cut someone with your pocket knife. In this episode we are using this metaphor as it relates to unintentionally hurting others, specifically in the context of rebuilding trust in rela…
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Disarming Coercive Behaviors - Episode 244
23:56
23:56
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23:56
How do you deal with coercion and emotional immaturity from other people? Do you defend yourself, disengage, or meet the other person at their level and try to play their game? In this episode we discuss the importance of disengaging from unhealthy interactions, not engaging in defense, and focusing on our own actions and reactions. The Power of Co…
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The Challenge of Rebuilding Trust - With Brannon Patrick - Episode 243
45:06
45:06
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45:06
I was recently invited to be a guest on the “Therapy Brothers” podcast. In this thought-provoking episode, Brannon Patrick and I delve into the complex and crucial topic of rebuilding trust in relationships affected by betrayal. We explore the foundational role of honesty in the healing process, discuss the challenges and misconceptions about trust…
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The Challenge of Rebuilding Trust - with Brannon Patrick - Episode 243
45:06
45:06
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45:06
I was recently invited to be a guest on the “Therapy Brothers” podcast. In this thought-provoking episode, Brannon Patrick and I delve into the complex and crucial topic of rebuilding trust in relationships affected by betrayal. We explore the foundational role of honesty in the healing process, discuss the challenges and misconceptions about trust…
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Inpatient vs. Outpatient Treatment - Episode 242
20:40
20:40
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20:40
Sobriety, safety, support, and stability are crucial in the aftermath of addiction and betrayal, and can be found in both inpatient and outpatient treatment scenarios. Join me as I outline the importance of personalized considerations, support systems, and cost implications in making the decision between inpatient and outpatient treatment for addic…
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A Post-Disclosure Pep Talk for the Betrayed Partner - Episode 241
13:48
13:48
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13:48
Discovering you have been betrayed is an extreme life-altering moment. Knowing what to do or where to turn next can feel insurmountable. In this episode I share 4 thoughts as a “pep talk” for the betrayed partner. Join me as I outline encouraging messages and steps to help you through the disclosure process and moving forward. The Power of Communit…
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A Post-Disclosure Pep Talk for the Recovering Partner - Episode 240
15:03
15:03
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15:03
The road after a betrayal and disclosure can be long and arduous. In this episode I share 4 thoughts as a “pep talk” for the recovering partner who is inevitably facing extreme discomfort and uncertainty. Stepping into disclosure is an intense, demanding experience, but the aftermath is the time to really do the work as an individual and to support…
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A Post-Disclosure Pep Talk for the Recovering Partner
15:03
15:03
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15:03
The road after a betrayal and disclosure can be long and arduous. In this episode I share 4 thoughts as a “pep talk” for the recovering partner who is inevitably facing extreme discomfort and uncertainty. Stepping into disclosure is an intense, demanding experience, but the aftermath is the time to really do the work as an individual and to support…
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"No More Mr. Nice Guy" - with Dr. Robert Glover - Episode 239
1:01:59
1:01:59
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1:01:59
The need to be accepted, combined with the fear of abandonment and rejection can lead us into becoming what other people want us to be while hiding who we truly are. This can drive us to deceit, manipulation, lies, and betrayal. In this episode I have invited Dr. Robert Glover to discuss his book, “No More Mr. Nice Guy”. Join us as we discuss the n…
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The Lure of the Victim Mindset
17:28
17:28
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17:28
This week we are re-visiting an episode that aired one year ago, but is an important topic that is continually relevant as we navigate the ups and downs of life. Life is full of situations that are out of our control. Once we have recovered from the initial shock of what has happened, how do we proceed? Do we continue to live as if we are powerless…
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Resilience in the Aftermath of Betrayal - with KayLee Dunn - Episode 238
52:35
52:35
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52:35
It's common for betrayed partners to wonder if they'll ever be themselves again. Enduring sleepless nights, constant stress, and regular emotional breakdowns can cause doubt that there can be a future worth looking forward to. This month we are going to focus on how betrayed partners can build resilience in the aftermath of betrayal. We've invited …
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Narcissism or Emotional Immaturity? - with Tony Overbay - Episode 237
56:23
56:23
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56:23
Narcissism has gained momentum in everyday conversation. While many individuals exhibit varying degrees of narcissistic tendencies, true Narcissistic Personality Disorder needs much more attention and diagnosing than a mere accusation. In this episode we welcome Tony Overbay to discuss the difference between emotional immaturity and narcissism. Joi…
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The Importance of Men's Work - with Kurt Francom - Episode 236
53:07
53:07
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53:07
One of the biggest casualties men experience, often when they are boys, is getting separated from their own hearts and living life on autopilot. Addictions, trauma, abandonment, and other challenges can create more separation and make it difficult for men to feel alive and energized. It can also make it difficult to connect to themselves, to God, a…
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The Four Levels of Communication - with Nathaniel Gustafson - Episode 235
41:30
41:30
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41:30
Communication in a marriage or committed relationship isn't always easy, especially in the aftermath of betrayal. We've invited fellow therapist Nathaniel Gustafson to teach us more about the four levels of communication and how to improve your ability to build a stronger connection. We make a special emphasis on how this can help men, who are ofte…
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Transactional vs. Transformational Relationship Dynamics - with Julia Witt - Episode 234
47:20
47:20
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47:20
We've invited Julia Witt to join us for a great discussion on transactional versus transformational relationships. Geoff discovered Julia when someone sent him a Tik Tok video of her discussing this topic. He knew he had to invite her to share more with our community. Transactional relationship dynamics are so common, especially in couples healing …
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Taking Ownership of Our Stories - with Jason Portnoy - Episode 233
58:00
58:00
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58:00
In this episode we are joined by Jason Portnoy, who wrote a memoir called “Silicon Valley Porn Star”. Jason shares his personal journey of addiction, infidelity, and self-discovery. We discuss the importance of surrendering and taking responsibility for unhealthy patterns in order to heal, grow, and overcome addiction. As with any personal recovery…
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