CW: rape for the first half of the episode This week, we cringe at the most mind rape of episodes, and then later Geordi gets some owns in on a colony of eugenicists.

After our long unannounced absence, Beam Me To Sick Bay is finally BACK with this appropriately short podcast about two episodes featuring the shortest among us: children. Worf comes to terms with what a bad dad he is as his son Alexander returns to the Enterprise, and Data gets a traumatized kid to follow him around and dress like him.…

This week, we talk about guest stars Leonard Nimoy and Stephen Root as Picard and Data infiltrate Romulus to see what that Spock doing. Meanwhile, Riker travels to a seedy Star Wars-esque bar to hear the blues.

This week, Wesley Crusher is back to save the Enterprise from the evils of gaming AND drugs. Later, some bozo from the future shows up and is an asshole to everyone. We're recording out of order to do both parts of Unification in the same episode next time!

This week, the Enterprise catches up with its old friend the Crystalline Entity. Later they deal with the aftermath of being in a space earthquake.

This week, we discuss the classic TNG episode everyone's been waiting for, the one where Picard has to learn to talk to an alien in memes. Later, Bajorans appear in the Star Trek universe in a proto-DS9 episode.

We've finally arrived at the end of season 4 and we're here to give you our favorites and worsts. Then we delve into the exciting world of Klingon politics as the Klingon Empire heads into a civil war, with some visits from surprising Romulans.

This week, Geordi gets a little brainwashed by some Romulans hoping to tear apart the alliance between the Federation and the Klingon empire. Later, Data tries the domestic life with a girlfriend but instead just transports us all back to season 1.

Wow! Two episodes in one! This week, we talk about how much of a queen Lwaxana Troi is as she struggles with the concept of senicide, and later, Dr. Crusher falls in love with a Trill and ends up having sex with Riker.

We are BACK and we talk about going to Combo Breaker 2023, and then Picard gives a moralizing speech and everybody claps.

Q cucks Picard, and this episode was accused of sexism.

Barclay's back and more powerful than ever.

This week, Geordi turns into an invisible lizard person. No, seriously. That's really what happens.

This week, we talk about a lot of different things as we try to avoid talking about how they made this horror episode boring. Also, Troi flies.

This week, Geordi LaForge breaks our hearts by being more cringe than any human should be. Also, Picard murders a space whale.

This week we get to experience the Federation from the point of view of a more primitive, 20th century type alien. Also Riker fucks his way out of trouble.

In this episode 50 spectacular special, we get nostalgic for the radio, discuss Picard's enthusiasm for mysteries, and learn how many people on the Enterprise can break Worf's wrist.

This week on Star Trek The Original Series, Captain Picard is in some sexy danger when he meets the devil and she's a babe who wants to bang him.

Finally Beam Me To Sick Bay covers an episode of Deep Space Nine, as presented by TNG.

Finally, an entire day just for Data.

This week, Commander Troi becomes a real person for a minute when she loses her empathic abilities.

This week, we yell about how bad Wesley's send off from the main cast of TNG is.

This week, we take a journey with Riker to the future... but is it REALLY the future? [dramatic pause] No.

Welcome to 2023, where Worf is here and he has a kid now! Also Gowron grins and glares a lot.

We're back with the promised (temporary) half length episodes to talk about Legacy, Tasha Yar's sister, and how the writers neglect Worf. We also ramble about Final Fantasy XII for a while.

This week, Picard adopts a teenager. Later, everyone in the universe but Dr. Crusher vanishes.

This week, it's about family as Picard visits his home village in France after his incident with the Borg, and we get to meet Worf's human parents. Later, Data has a family reunion of his own.

This week the Enterprise has a harrowing encounter with the Borg who have finally made their way into the Alpha quadrant. Afterwards, we rank out favorite and least favorite episodes of season 3.

This week, Lwaxana's back in town and giving some top-tier oo-mox. Later, Dr. Crusher saves an alien's life and he turns out to be space Jesus.

This week, Data is kidnapped by the nefarious Collector, and Spock's dad shows up to make Picard cry.

This week, a very psychic man is a big asshole, and our dear, socially anxious friend Lt. Reginald Barclay finally appears.

Season 3 of Star Trek: The Next Generation roars along as this week Picard is replaced by a singing doppelganger, and later gets to visit the pleasure planet Risa for some Indiana Jones style adventures.

This week, we got a real "daddy" of an episode as we talk about Data's daughter Lal, and then Worf's family drama on the Klingon homeworld.

This week, we talk about Yesterday's Enterprise, when a rift in space-time alters the course of history and puts the Federation in a 20 year war with the Klingon Empire. Also Tasha Yar wasn't killed by a tar monster and is here again! Wow!

This week, Q is BACK and he's worried about balding, sneezing, and getting a pimple. Also, Star Trek does Rashomon and Riker might be a rapist.

This week, we talk about burgers and Rambo with our guest Ruggington, and then we talk about the episode too hot for UK television (because of the Troubles.)

This week, we discuss the ever-growing lore of food replicators, and how cool Romulans are. Meanwhile, Riker licks a forehussy.

This week, Geordi makes a Romulan frenemy, and Troi dates a jerk. Some Ferengi show up.

This week, we delve into some heavy shit as we and TNG discuss death and grief. Later, Geordi marries his car.

This week, Troi gets a song stuck in her head and she just can't get it out, and the crew of the Enterprise attend a Vulcan renaissance faire.

This week, Dr. Bob Kelso from Scrubs makes a guest appearance as a high strung scientist, and Data spurns the advances of a robot lover on a radioactive colony.

This week we wrap up season 2 with listener emails, our top and bottom picks for season 2 episodes, and a special watch-a-long commentary track in the second half as the three of us watch Shades of Gray together.

We're back and this week Worf's old girlfriend is in town, and Data gets tilted at a video game.

This week, we meet some Irish caricatures, and Lwaxana Troi is down bad for a hologram.

This week, the Borg finally show up, and Picard and Wesley eat sandwiches together. Meanwhile, Hace manages to work in about a dozen Overwatch puns.

This week, Riker spars with his estranged father in the ultimate evolution of martial arts, and Data makes friends with a tiny alien caveman over ham radio.

This week, Data in a cowboy hat, and a space toilet.

This week, Wesley's hormones erupt with love when he meets a hot alien, and the Enterprise catches a cold.

This week, we talk about Data's status as a person or machine, and how good Patrick Stewart is at acting.

This week, Pulaski goes to the beach that makes you old, and we learn about Klingon cuisine with Riker.