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Beyond Broken Vows | Christian Marriage, Adultery, Pornography Addiction, Sexual Betrayal, Intimacy

Emily & Johnny Spigelmire | Christian Marriage Recovery Coaches

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***Top 1.5% Global Podcast*** Dear Betrayed, Are you in shock? Confused, devastated, hurt, angry and feeling like you are not enough? Do you feel like it must be your fault, like you should have somehow seen the signs? Are you grieving the death of the marriage you thought you had? Dear Betrayer, Have you been believing the lie that if people knew what was really in your heart and mind, they would turn their back on you? Have you been convinced that your wife and family would leave you and y ...
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The VowsToKeep Marriage Podcast

David & Tracy Sellars

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Need help in your marriage?! We've got you covered! The VowsToKeep Marriage Podcast will help you grow closer to your spouse and closer to God's design for your marriage. No marriage is too far gone to save or too healthy to not need a check up. Let's get started by building a Biblically healthy marriage!
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Are you looking for hope in what may seem to be a hopeless situation right now? Merriam-Webster defines hope as "to expect with confidence". During this Christmas season many of us are looking for hope. Hope that things will change for the better or maybe just hope that the pain of betrayal and the confusion of addiction will simply “go away”. Frie…
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Wisdom for Marriage: Miracles of Jesus :: [Ep. 248] Is your marriage hurting or broken? When was the last time you looked for a healing miracle? Sometimes we forget who the SOURCE of healing is! This week on The VowsToKeep Marriage Podcast, we are diving into the miracles of Jesus and will remember just HOW our God can provide the miracle that your…
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Are you looking forward to celebrating Christmas this year? Or maybe for you, Christmastime has a dark shadow over it because of the discovery of sexual betrayal in your marriage and you’re wondering if it is ever going to get better. We know how that feels! Several years ago, we faced the shocking reality of infidelity in our marriage, and it turn…
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Wisdom for Marriage: The Parable of the Sower :: [Ep. 247] What does the soil in your marriage look like? If you dig below the surface, do you quickly find rocks of independence, disrespect or dishonesty? Do you have weeds of bitterness and unforgiveness in your marriage? This week, on the VowsToKeep Marriage Podcast, we are learning from the parab…
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On today's show, we share our transformative journey from the deep struggles of pornography addiction and infidelity to healing and restoration. If you remember back on episode #75, we had a guest on our show who gave us some incredible insights on how to Heal with God, from heavy things like sexual betrayal, shame and unforgiveness. Heather O’Brie…
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Wisdom for Marriage: The I AM Statements of Jesus (pt. 2) :: [Ep. 246] Jesus proclaimed, “I AM the good shepherd.” Do you believe this?? This week on the VowsToKeep Marriage Podcast, we are highlighting this promise of Jesus and exposing the enemy’s common tactics to draw you away from your marriage and remind us of the sweet truth of what it means…
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Wisdom for Marriage: The I AM Statements of Jesus (pt. 1) :: [Ep. 245] Do you feel like you have been spinning your wheels in marriage? Or do you feel robbed by the enemy, or abandoned by the things you put your trust in? If so, don’t miss this week’s episode on the VowsToKeep Marriage Podcast! We are zeroing in on Jesus’s “I AM” statements and emp…
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Ladies, do you and your husband seem to be in a never-ending cycle of communication misfires? You ask him hard questions, he gives you answers, but you still aren’t connecting and moving forward. Are you frustrated and confused by his responses, or lack thereof, leaving you with no confidence that he is telling the truth or that he sees your pain? …
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Ah, the holiday season! A time filled with twinkling lights, joyful gatherings, and, let's face it, a few emotional landmines for those who have been through the wringer with sexual betrayal. If the holiday cheer takes a nosedive because you discovered your partner’s unfaithfulness—whether it was last month, a year ago, or even two decades back—we …
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Finding Joy and Strength in Everyday Gratitude :: [Ep. 244] Thanksgiving isn't just a holiday—it's a way of life that can revolutionize our marriages and personal relationships. Imagine the transformation that occurs when we nurture gratitude even in the midst of life's chaos. Drawing inspiration from the remarkable resilience of Corrie ten Boom an…
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Making and apology to our betrayed spouse is one of the more important facets of our recovery process. However, have you had the experience when making an apology to your spouse, it seemed to cause more damage than give relief? So, what is the secret to a good apology and how can it be done with respect and honesty that can lead to true intimacy. S…
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Wisdom for Marriage: The 10 Commandments (pt. 3) :: [Ep. 243] This week, on The VowsToKeep Marriage Podcast, we are wrapping up our study on the 10 Commandments, covering commandments like ‘Thou shall not murder,' 'Thou shall not commit adultery,' 'Thou shall not steal,' and so on. At first glance, most might feel they have easily fulfilled these c…
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Wisdom for Marriage: The 10 Commandments (pt. 2) :: [Ep. 242] What if we told you the 10 Commandments provide vital marriage advice? It’s true! They are vital to a healthy marriage. Not only because they offer guidance on how to live but also because they help make us aware of our need for a Savior. This week on The VowsToKeep Marriage Podcast, we …
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Have you ever lost something or had something taken away from you and you deeply felt the loss? Or perhaps you gave something precious away that you now regret or grieve and want to get it back. Would you be willing to travel a potentially painful path to have your loss restored? The path of redemption can be challenging at best and painful at its …
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On this show, we have often talked about forgiveness - the need for extending forgiveness and how to walk out forgiveness. It has been in the context of forgiving your spouse for sexual betrayal, but what about the other woman? Or women? There are many different scenarios and every marriage has a unique story of brokenness. But there is a common th…
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Wisdom for Marriage: The 10 Commandments (pt. 1) :: [Ep. 241] Have you ever read through the 10 Commandments and immediately thought, “Wow! This is great marriage advice!”? For most people, the answer is probably no! In this week’s episode we are diving into how the 10 Commandments prove to be vital marriage advice. We will shed light on how to pra…
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Have you ever found yourself in a situation that totally surprised you, leaving you unsure of how to react? It happens to all of us! When we’re on the journey to recovering from sex addiction, those unexpected moments can be particularly challenging. It’s important to be aware and not let our guard down, as staying vigilant plays a crucial role in …
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Wisdom for Marriage: The Sermon on the Mount :: [Ep. 240] Join The VowsToKeep Marriage Podcast this week as we share wisdom for your marriage AND teach you how to practically apply the Bible to your marriage. Specifically, this week, we are diving into Jesus’s Sermon on the Mount and pointing each of us to His wise truths and teachings. When these …
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When you hear the statement, "I do not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it". What thoughts and/or emotions surface immediately? Our experience has shown us that the initial reaction from a betrayed spouse will likely differ from that of the one who has broken faith. The former will react in a posture of, "You better regret your past!". …
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Wisdom for Marriage: The Lord's Prayer :: [Ep. 239] Do you and your spouse pray together? Does it feel natural or awkward? If you are feeling awkward about praying with your spouse or don’t know where to start, come listen to this week's VowsToKeep Marriage Podcast episode! Even if you and are your spouse regularly pray together, come listen!! We w…
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Have you ever wondered how to hear God speaking to you? When we have deep wounds such as betrayal trauma and sexual integrity issues, we can feel desperate to hear the voice of God. We want him to tell us what to do to get relief from the ever-present pain and anxiety we are experiencing to find freedom and healing. Today we are so excited to share…
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Wisdom for Marriage: The Beattitudes :: [Ep. 238] We live in a culture that applauds and pushes pursuit of self all in attempt to find satisfaction. And yet, why are so many still dissatisfied? Could it be because so many (Christians included) are pursuing the wrong things for satisfaction? Because of this misguided pursuit, we are personally affec…
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The Best Weapon Against the War on Marriage :: [Ep. 237] There is a war raging against God-ordained marriage. Do you see it? Can you feel it? Come listen to this week's VowsToKeep Marriage Podcast episode where we will shed light on the enemy’s common, yet subtle tactics that dismantle marriages. And we will teach and remind you just how to fight b…
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If you are listening to our podcast on a regular basis, and we hope you are, you are likely working hard to stay married after porn-fueled infidelity. One challenging area that needs to be addressed in the recovery process is shame and guilt. Many times, shame and guilt are used interchangeably as though they are the same. Do you know there’s a dif…
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We know our story of sexual betrayal and recovery is not the only one out there, so we are excited to share with you a compelling conversation we had with Steve Shields from the Unashamed Unafraid podcast. He tells his unique and very personal story of how a Christian man trapped in porn addiction was able to come to terms with his powerlessness, a…
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God's Given Me a Spiritual Gift...Now What?! :: [Ep. 236] Do you know what your spouse’s spiritual gift is? Do you know yours?! Now that you know how your spouse is gifted and how you are gifted…now what?! Tune into The VowsToKeep Marriage podcast where we will be talking all about this and encouraging you on what your next steps should be. We hope…
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We had planned to update and replay episodes all this month to help us take things a little slower for our anniversary. Well, we got of our 2 most popular shows out, but this week we decided to share some new content with you. We want to give some encouragement and a little guidance to those of you who are struggling in the storm of your broken mar…
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How to Help Your Spouse Grow in Their Spiritual Gift :: [Ep. 235] Do you know what your spouse’s spiritual gift is? For many, the answer is…actually, no. This week, on The VowsToKeep Marriage podcast, we are talking all about this! We will be teaching on the specifics of just how we can help our spouse grow in their spiritual gift. We hope and pray…
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It's been almost a year and a half since we first told our stories of sexual addiction and betrayal on our podcast. A lot has happened since then! We are so very grateful for the recovery, healing, and growth that both of us have experienced since D-Day in 2018. It has been due to God's help, tons of hard work on our part, and a great support commu…
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Identifying Spiritual Gifts + How To Grow Them :: [Ep. 234] The past few weeks on The VowsToKeep Marriage Podcast, we have been talking about Spiritual Gifts and why they matter to marriage. This week, we continue the conversation and help us learn how to not only identify those gifts but also how to grow them even more. Tune in now! Support the sh…
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Using Your Spiritual Gifts + Talents in Marriage :: [Ep. 233] Most people know and understand what a talent is (i.e. you can sing really well or you have a great memory and can remember peoples’ names, etc.) But when it comes to understanding Spiritual Gifts, understanding gets a bit more fuzzy. This week, on The VowsToKeep Marriage Podcast, we are…
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September is our anniversary month and we're celebrating by taking a break from creating new episodes this month, but rather updating and replaying a few of our most popular episodes. Today we are revisiting Episode #2 Her Story: My Husband Betrayed Me, where Emily bares her soul to tell the story of Johnny's marital infidelity* fueled by pornograp…
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Wives, do you have a desire for your husband to lead you and your family spiritually? Of course! Husbands, are you at a loss for what that looks like and how you can show up for your wife in this area? Yeah, probably. Unfortunately, in many Christian marriages, this is often a reality. A wife will take up the responsibility of being the spiritual h…
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Spiritual Gifts + Why They Matter to Your Marriage :: [Ep. 232] Do you know what a spiritual gift is? If yes, do you know what yours is and how to use it in life and marriage? If no, would you like to learn more about the unique gifts God gives you and your spouse to bless not only each other but the world around you? Join us this week on The VowsT…
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Wives, are you trying to communicate your feelings to your husband and somehow it always ends up being about him. Are just not feeling seen, heard and validated? Men, is your wife explaining to you how she feels or coming at you with big emotions and you find yourself at a loss of how to respond? This can happen in any marriage, but when sexual bet…
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How to Give Your Marriage the Jump-Start It Needs :: [Ep. 231] Is it time to reboot or jump start your marriage relationship? Tune into the VowsToKeep Marriage Podcast where we will bring encouragement on how growing closer to the Lord will bring the kickstart your marriage needs. Don’t miss it! Support the show For episode transcripts, click HERE.…
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How much do you value keeping your word? And how does it make you feel when someone doesn't keep their word? For a betrayed wife, it becomes even more important that her recovering husband keep his word. This new display of reliability provides the safety and security that she desperately needs in a time of confusion and broken trust. When he makes…
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How to REBOOT Your Marriage :: [Ep. 230] Does your marriage need a refresh or a reboot? What might be bogging down your marriage? Join us on the VowsToKeep Marriage Podcast, where we will encourage you on just how to effectively reboot your marriage. Don’t miss it! Support the show For episode transcripts, click HERE. For more marriage encouragemen…
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We all have priorities, whether we make them intentionally or they exist by default. At times our priorities can be misguided and cause pain for ourselves and for others. We also understand that priorities are important and it’s necessary to have them in the right order. And for a betrayed wife, it’s imperative to know that she is a priority to her…
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Using God's Word to REFOCUS Your Marriage :: [Ep. 229] For most married people, it’s very easy to see your spouse’s weaknesses. And often, the enemy effectively uses this clear view of weakness to chip away at the marital foundation and relationship. Often times, this blinds us to see our own shortcomings and results in an unrealistic view of ourse…
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Does Your Marriage Need a Miracle? :: [Ep. 228] Is your marriage hurting or broken? When was the last time you looked for a healing miracle? Sometimes we forget who the source of healing is! This week on The VowsToKeep Marriage Podcast, we are diving into the miracles of Jesus and will remember just how our God can provide the miracle that your mar…
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Following the revelation of sexual betrayal, a couple must decide whether to stay together or not. Choosing to stay married initiates a complex journey of recovery and healing, filled with challenges and triumphs. However, the journey may be prolonged due to the betrayer's lack of understanding the needs of the betrayed. Initially, the focus is on …
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Has the reality of porn-fueled infidelity in your marriage come to light? Have you both decided to stay together and want to do your part to save your marriage? Husband, have you decided to go all in on making it right? Are willing to do whatever it takes to recover from the devastating consequences of your bad decisions, but moving forward in your…
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Does Your Marriage Have Good Soil or Bad Soil? :: [Ep. 227] What does the soil in your marriage look like? If you dig below the surface, do you quickly find rocks of independence, disrespect or dishonesty? Do you have weeds of bitterness and unforgiveness in your marriage? This week, on the VowsToKeep podcast, we are learning from the parable of th…
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It wasn’t until I stopped using pornography altogether and the fog lifted that I learned just how much effect it had had on my brain. The further I got away from the porn and the more days of sobriety I achieved, I found that I was able to think more clearly and process the difficult truth of my sex-addiction. Understanding porn’s effect on my brai…
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The Good Shepherd Cares About Your Marriage :: [Ep. 226] Jesus proclaimed, “I AM the good shepherd.” Do you believe this?? This week on the VowsToKeep podcast, we are highlighting this promise of Jesus and exposing the enemy’s common tactics to draw you away from your marriage and remind us of the sweet truth of what it means to have Jesus as the s…
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How was your week? Did it go as planned? This week, a verse really hit home for us in a big way... We can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps. Proverbs 16:9 Imagine this - just as we were about to hit the button to record today’s podcast episode, a sudden interruption caught us off guard. Johnny received a private message that sparked…
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Good News for Your Marriage! :: [Ep. 225] Do you feel like you have been spinning your wheels in marriage? Or do you feel robbed by the enemy, or abandoned by the things you put your trust in? If so, don’t miss this week’s episode on the VowsToKeep podcast! We are zeroing in on Jesus’ “I AM” statements and emphasize why and how they are good news f…
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After discovering your spouse had betrayed you sexually, what was your initial reaction? We bet it wasn’t joy. We know that there are many volatile emotions that come on the heels of that shocking and devastating news - among them pain, anger, and confusion. As you try to make sense of the senseless in your new unwanted reality, you may find yourse…
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How the Enemy Makes You Stumble in Your Marriage :: [Ep. 224] This week, on the VowsToKeep podcast, we are wrapping up our study on the 10 Commandments, covering commandments like ‘Thou shall not murder, Thou shall not commit adultery, Thou shall not steal, and so on. At first glance, most might feel they have easily fulfilled these commands when i…
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