We discuss those thoughts in the back of your head that most people don't talk about, in an effort to help others and grow ourselves.
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That Infernal Noise Ep. 59 - Holi-Daze 2024
1:15:13
1:15:13
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1:15:13
In this episode Neish and I talk about her struggles with seasonal depression and how it is already setting in this year for a myriad of reasons. Please excuse the abrupt ending of the episode we had some technical defaults because I forgot to plug the laptop in lol. Follow us on facebook, twitter, youtube, tiktok, threads and Instagram @thatinfern…
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That Infernal Noise Ep. 58 - Maybe Momma Trauma II: Wrath of Mom
36:21
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36:21
In this episode Neish and I talk about a subject all too familiar to us, our self doubt. She is very open and honest about her struggles as a Mom of 2 adult kids and 2 middle school aged ones and has a revelation or two about her relationship with her own mother as we are going through our conversation. Follow us on facebook, twitter, youtube, tikt…
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That Infernal Noise Ep. 57 - …3 Weeks Later…
1:26:23
1:26:23
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1:26:23
In this episode Neish and I talk about how life keeps lifing, our daughter ended up in the hospital due to her diabetes and we discuss our perception of the events of that week and the subsequent week in which I had a break with reality and spun out on Neish. Now I have gotten to a point where I know there is more work to do and I need to figure ou…
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That Infernal Noise Ep. 56 - Maybe Momma Trauma
1:08:38
1:08:38
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1:08:38
In this episode Neish and I talk about our Momma Trauma. How people like us weren’t done any favors by our mothers and how we were treated by them at times by having to be more responsible than even they were and how that has perpetuated itself throughout the course of our lives. Follow us on facebook, twitter, youtube, tiktok, threads and Instagra…
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That Infernal Noise Ep. 55 - Carry on with Clarity
30:55
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30:55
In this episode I talk about the recent insight and clarity I am gaining and it ends up being a love letter of appreciation for my partner in life. Follow us on facebook, twitter, youtube, tiktok, threads and Instagram @thatinfernalnpc Any thoughts or feedback on it would be very much appreciated!โดย That Infernal Noise
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That Infernal Noise Ep. 54 - Frustration in Growth
1:26:07
1:26:07
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1:26:07
In this episode Neish and I have a candid discussion about our constant growth and the frustration we feel in that with others and “why don’t they get it.” We get kind of heated in talking about her mom and things that happened that neither of us agreed with. Follow us on facebook, twitter, youtube, tiktok, threads and Instagram @thatinfernalnpc An…
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That Infernal Noise Ep. 53 - I Got The Message Ma
32:23
32:23
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32:23
In this episode I get super honest and vulnerable about how I have been struggling since my Mom’s death especially with clearing out her house the past two weekends. I also describe the experience I had on Saturday night when I was having a particularly hard time and how good it help to feel that love again. Follow us on facebook, twitter, youtube,…
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That Infernal Noise Ep. 52 - Bearlee Hanging On
1:30:27
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1:30:27
In this episode Neish and I sit down and talk with our daughter Kaylee. We discuss where she is in life right now, the various traumas that we dealt her and how we have all grown since then. This is one of my favorite episodes that we have ever recorded and a great insight to what the parent/child relationship should be. Follow us on facebook, twit…
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That Infernal Noise Ep. 51 - The Sex Episode
1:06:24
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1:06:24
In this episode Neish and I have a candid conversation about things of a sexual nature and how she is a little spicy in that regard and I am a down right degenerate. We address the stigma’s surrounding sexuality, kinks and sleeping around and explain a little bit of how we are. Follow us on facebook, twitter, youtube, tiktok, threads and Instagram …
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That Infernal Noise Ep. 50 - Therapy in a Galaxy Far Far Away
1:08:02
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1:08:02
In this episode Neish and I have a bit of a therapy session and the Star Wars analogies are heavy in this episode. This is one of the myriad of reasons I love this woman, only she and I could have a serious in depth conversation about emotions and the things we are going through while comparing it to Star Wars storylines and archetypes. Follow us o…
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That Infernal Noise Ep. 49 - Accountabilibuddies
1:00:41
1:00:41
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1:00:41
In this episode Neish and I discuss our accountability, while also touching on the state of the world and the lack of accountability within so many different arenas. Follow us on facebook, twitter, youtube, tiktok, threads and Instagram @thatinfernalnpc Any thoughts or feedback on it would be very much appreciated!…
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That Infernal Noise Ep. 48 - Say It Louder for Those in the Back
1:31:19
1:31:19
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1:31:19
In this episode Neish and I discuss communication, it is almost like it is key. We go all over the place as per usual. Guest starring (off camera) my little homie Noey. Follow us on facebook, twitter, youtube, tiktok, threads and Instagram @thatinfernalnpc Any thoughts or feedback on it would be very much appreciated!…
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That Infernal Noise Ep. 47 - Kings and the Jellyman
37:50
37:50
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37:50
In this episode I discuss a couple of my inspirations, David Gunn and Eugene Gill from King 810 and Jellyroll. Coming from what some would call the wrong side of the tracks myself and being told I would never be shit or that I was uppity because of how I would talk, I never felt like I belonged anywhere. As I have gotten older I know now that we ar…
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That Infernal Noise Ep. 46 - A Smattering of Nonsense
1:16:00
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1:16:00
In this episode Neish and I return to our true form and just kind of meander all over the place discussing politics, spirituality, parenting, trying to not be assholes and so much more. Follow us on facebook, twitter, youtube, tiktok, threads and Instagram @thatinfernalnpc Any thoughts or feedback on it would be very much appreciated!…
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That Infernal Noise Ep. 45 - Silver Tongued Sermon
31:41
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31:41
In this episode I talk about my spirituality, my beginnings with it and religion, my straying for the majority of my adult life and my journey back to a place where I am comfortable with discussing my spirituality and my opinions on religion, God and a lot more. Follow us on facebook, twitter, youtube, tiktok, threads and Instagram @thatinfernalnpc…
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That Infernal Noise Ep. 44 - Graduation Time
52:57
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52:57
In this episode Neish and I talk about our 2nd oldest Kaylee graduating last Saturday and the shit show of emotions that it was. We get emotional, shocker I know, but we speak about having to learn how to be an interested party in her life whenever we have only been full time parents and the struggles that it causes. Follow us on facebook, twitter,…
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That Infernal Noise Ep. 43 - That Don’t Work For Me
1:15:52
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1:15:52
In this episode Neish and I talk about my career and she expresses her frustration from her point of view. She definitely gets impassioned as we are talking about the issues with society and what we deem as the problems with corporate America. Follow us on facebook, twitter, youtube, tiktok, threads and Instagram @thatinfernalnpc Any thoughts or fe…
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That Infernal Noise Ep. 42 - Paradox of Parenting
1:06:41
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1:06:41
In this episode Neish and I talk about her injuring herself, some of our upbringing, having to navigate having a daughter dating age and raising a 10/11 year old boy that has too much energy. Follow us on facebook, twitter, youtube, tiktok, threads and Instagram @thatinfernalnpcโดย That Infernal Noise
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That Infernal Noise Ep. 41 - The Bad is Good?
1:02:58
1:02:58
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1:02:58
In this episode Neish and I talk about a lot of the negative things we have been through that ultimately led to some of the best things that have happened to us. Follow us on facebook, twitter, youtube, tiktok, threads and Instagram @thatinfernalnpc Any thoughts or feedback on it would be very much appreciated!…
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That Infernal Noise Ep. 40 - Updating Software
1:33:11
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1:33:11
In this episode, Neish and I meander all over the place. We talk about taking accountability, accepting we weren’t always the best people, setting boundaries and learning how to be there for each other. Follow us on facebook, twitter, youtube, tiktok, threads and Instagram @thatinfernalnpc Any thoughts or feedback on it would be very much appreciat…
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That Infernal Noise Ep. 39 - Wife of a Grieving Son
1:13:14
1:13:14
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1:13:14
In this episode, we don’t really have a conversation, I felt completely lost and uncomfortably numb as we were recording it. To me it sounds like a wife that feels completely helpless and just wants her husband to be alright. Truthfully there was something cathartic about hearing her say everything she did and the past few days have felt a little d…
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That Infernal Noise Ep. 38 - This Is MY 40
1:08:52
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1:08:52
In this episode, Neish and I discuss my turning 40, spoiler, I am not handling it well. Also we discuss my being selfish about wanting the family that I have lost here with me and had a crazy experience caught on the audio in the process. Follow us on facebook, twitter, youtube, tiktok, threads and Instagram @thatinfernalnpc Any thoughts or feedbac…
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That Infernal Noise Ep. 37 - Living in Spite of Fear
1:15:43
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1:15:43
In this episode, Neish ended up interviewing me and I didn’t realize until we were pretty deep into it. It was her way of getting me to just talk without thinking about it and I just opened up on how I am dealing with everything. I explain the goals I have and what I want all of the grief to lead to and make me a better person and not letting the f…
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That Infernal Noise Ep. 36 - Monday Mourning
1:46:45
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1:46:45
In this episode, Neish and I discuss what we have been dealing with in the past month; the untimely death of my Mom. This one was kind of all over the place, big surprise I know, but it is a real look into how we have been struggling. Please know that there is no right way to grieve, it differs person to person and situation to situation, but it is…
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That Infernal Noise Ep. 35 - Holi-Daze
1:16:37
1:16:37
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1:16:37
In this episode, Neish and I discuss the holidays and the negative effect it can have on us and people in general. Follow us on facebook, twitter, youtube, tiktok and Instagram @thatinfernalnpc Any thoughts or feedback on it would be very much appreciated!โดย That Infernal Noise
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That Infernal Noise Ep. 34 - 12 Years Deep
1:32:06
1:32:06
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1:32:06
In this episode, Neish and I discuss the past 12 years of our relationship from the tumultuous start to its current iteration and everything in between. This was a super fun one for us and it was even fun to listen back to for me. Follow us on facebook, twitter, youtube, tiktok and Instagram @thatinfernalnpc Any thoughts or feedback on it would be …
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That Infernal Noise Ep. 33 - The Changing of the Seasons
1:10:56
1:10:56
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1:10:56
In this episode, Neish and I discuss the way things are changing for us, the new experiences we are having with our kids getting older and trying to make their way in the world, the struggles we have had trying to reconcile our childhoods and traumas while still trying to raise our own kids. Follow us on facebook, twitter, youtube, tiktok and Insta…
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That Infernal Noise Ep. 32 - The Daemon
1:33:17
1:33:17
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1:33:17
It has all come to this, the sharing of my story. So many things had to line up in such a way that the only explanation is that it was meant to be shared. If you feel alone and isolated from the spiritual or you have “that piece of you missing,” please know what I have been there and there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Change is right around…
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That Infernal Noise Ep. 31 - Prelude to the Shitshow
1:29:37
1:29:37
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1:29:37
In this episode, Neish and I talk about her struggle with accepting the things that she has experienced as well as her place in the world. As per usual we kinda go all over the place and talk about her upbringing and some of the inappropriate things she had to deal with. The reason for calling it the Prelude, is it will serve as an episode 0 for th…
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That Infernal Noise Ep. 30 - Coming Undone
1:34:19
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1:34:19
In this episode, Neish and I talk about my panic attack/life changing spiritual awakening. It was an unbelievably intense and overwhelming experience that terrified me to my core, not since I was a child have I been scared to that extent. It was so impactful, I still feel changed even over a week later. I am thankful for my wife being able to be th…
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That Infernal Noise Ep. 29 - Becoming Your Own Advocate
2:14:52
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2:14:52
In this episode, my lovely wife Neish and I share with you the most honest and real look into how we communicate. We start with Neish finding the resolve to leave her dead end job and kind of go all over the place from there. She talks about her convictions and finding the strength to stand up for herself over the years we have been together. She f…
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That Infernal Noise Ep. 28 - The Road So Far...
1:27:55
1:27:55
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1:27:55
In this episode, my lovely wife Neish and I discuss where we are currently in our journey, collectively and individually. How we want to be past the point of growth and how we want to be at the finish line. Finding balance with work & family life while still trying to prioritize our mental and physical health. All while figuring out how to be grate…
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That Infernal Noise Ep. 27 - Communication is Key
1:15:57
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1:15:57
In this episode, my lovely wife Neish and I discuss the evolution of our communication, from the early days of just being friends to having a family together like we do now as well as how we almost lost our relationship in the process. Follow us on facebook, twitter, youtube, tiktok and Instagram @thatinfernalnpc Intro - STMFU by Breed Any thoughts…
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That Infernal Noise Ep. 26 - The Reboot
1:09:48
1:09:48
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1:09:48
In this episode, what I wanted to be the actual format of the show is finally brought to fruition, my lovely wife Neish and I discuss why we are rebooting and get into a dope conversation that kind of goes all over the place. Join us on the newest chapter in our journey! Follow us on facebook, twitter, youtube, tiktok and Instagram @thatinfernalnpc…
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That Infernal Noise Ep. 25 - May the 4th be with You
29:14
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29:14
In this episode I discuss my obsession with Star Wars and how it relates to my psyche and my mental health. It has become one of my biggest sources of strength and has helped me be more present in my normal life. May the force be with you all! Follow me on facebook, twitter, youtube, tiktok and Instagram @thatinfernalnpc Intro - STMFU by Breed Any …
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That Infernal Noise Ep. 24 - Seats at my Table
34:48
34:48
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34:48
In this episode I discuss the most prevalent thought in my mind for a while now, who deserves a seat at my table. Coming to realization and appreciation for what I have and the quality of people that I have around me instead of constantly wanting more or wanting to be liked etc. *If you are dealing with suicidal thoughts and need help 988 has been …
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That Infernal Noise Ep. 23 - Smoke and Hate
36:00
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36:00
In this episode I discuss my struggle with the darkness and trying to get into the light and at times surviving on smoke and hate. I was addicted to my noise and in a lot of situations used it as my security blanket. *If you are dealing with suicidal thoughts and need help 988 has been designated as the new three-digit dialing code that will route …
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That Infernal Noise Ep. 22 - Ave Maria
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43:56
In my return episode I discuss the passing of the woman that raised me, my grandmother Maria Pina. I talk about the struggles I have had since then and falling into a depression and lacking motivation to do basically anything. Don't let the noise make you, YOU make the noise. Follow me on facebook, twitter, youtube, tiktok and Instagram @thatinfern…
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That Infernal Noise Ep. 21 - Mental Health Awareness Day
37:10
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37:10
In this episode I discuss my personal mental health journey, where I am now and what I consider my rock bottom including my suicidal ideations and overcoming them. *If you are dealing with suicidal thoughts and need help 988 has been designated as the new three-digit dialing code that will route callers to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. …
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That Infernal Noise Ep. 20 - My Generation
32:13
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32:13
In this episode I discuss my generation and how we were raised and what I have learned from my kids as well. Follow me on facebook, twitter, tiktok and instagram @thatinfernalnpc Intro - STMFU by Breed Any thoughts or feedback on it would be very much appreciated! -Robert #thatinfernalnpc #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthmatters #m…
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That Infernal Noise Ep. 19 - Taking Responsibility & Personal Accountability
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33:08
In this episode I discuss my taking responsibility for my actions and holding myself accountable in all situations and how I deal with the struggle to do so. Follow me on facebook, twitter, tiktok and instagram @thatinfernalnpc Intro - STMFU by Breed Any thoughts or feedback on it would be very much appreciated! -Robert #thatinfernalnpc #mentalheal…
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That Infernal Noise Ep. 18 - The Need to Belong and Get Better
34:15
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34:15
In this episode I discuss my constant need to be accepted and never really feeling like I ever fit in anywhere until very recently. I also talk about my short comings as a father and a partner and how I always strive to learn from my previous mistakes and try to be a better person. Follow me on facebook, twitter, tiktok and instagram @thatinfernaln…
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That Infernal Noise Ep. 17 - Strength Through Adversity
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32:21
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32:21
In this episode I discuss the adversity no longer hindering my motivation, I have gotten to a place of clarity and understanding of my work life balance and found the things that re-energize me and give me strength to make it through the tough times. Follow me on facebook, twitter, tiktok and instagram @thatinfernalnpc Intro - STMFU by Breed Any th…
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That Infernal Noise Ep. 16 - What Are We Waiting For?
24:53
24:53
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24:53
In this episode I discuss making excuses to be unmotivated and my fears of not being accepted along with a couple of stories of why I don't think like that anymore. Follow me on facebook, twitter, tiktok and instagram @thatinfernalnpc Intro - STMFU by Breed Any thoughts or feedback on it would be very much appreciated! -Robert…
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That Infernal Noise Ep. 15 - Mental Health Check-In
31:09
31:09
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31:09
In this episode I discuss where I am currently and all the changes that I have made in my life in order to get to the point that I am at. Kids getting older, my mindset changing, sacrificing, goals, and my trying to be a better person in general. Follow me on facebook, twitter, tiktok and instagram @thatinfernalnpc Intro - STMFU by Breed Any though…
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That Infernal Noise Ep. 14 - Making Amends
31:31
31:31
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31:31
In this episode I discuss where I currently reside in my life and growth in making amends for my past behaviors and/or neglect with loved ones. It has been a long process trying to make right the wrongs I have done in my life but ultimately it has greatly benefited my mental well being. Big thanks for Claas for giving me permission to use his track…
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That Infernal Noise Ep. 13 - No More Excuses
24:01
24:01
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24:01
This episode is my call to arms for making my life my own, there is no more time for excuses. I discuss not being happy because I often self sabotage and wanting to break that cycle in order to accomplish my goals. Big thanks for Claas for giving me permission to use his track, check out his info below and leave some love! Follow me on facebook, tw…
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That Infernal Noise Ep. 12 - Getting Older
1:06:17
1:06:17
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1:06:17
In this episode Neish, Mandy, Gabriel and I sit down and talk with Chris right after his 18th birthday. We discuss his upbring, what it is like dealing with parents like us and crack a few jokes along the way because we can't be serious for too long. Big thanks for Claas for giving me permission to use his track, check out his info below and leave …
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That Infernal Noise Ep. 11 - Feeling Myself
26:41
26:41
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26:41
As the title implies, I am Feeling Myself now. In the episode I discuss plans for the future, my sense of general optimism toward life, finding my purpose and looking forward to the future. Big thanks for Claas for giving me permission to use his track, check out his info below and leave some love! Follow me on facebook, twitter and instagram @that…
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That Infernal Noise Ep. 10 - As Honest As I Have Ever Been
44:39
44:39
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44:39
In this episode as the title implies, I am more honest than I have ever been. You get an unfiltered look into my mind and my thoughts of men’s mental health and the perception of being weak in discussing emotions. I also discuss the suicidal thoughts I have, some of the motivations for them and my reasons for still being here. I apologize to anyone…
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