A weekly movie podcast hosted by stand up comedians Ryan Cullen and Mark Nelson. Join them as they pick apart their film of the week. They might discuss movies, they might not, it’ll be a laugh anyway. Argumentative, unqualified and very very funny. Cullen and Nelson are Absolute Cuts.
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Dj Sets from a Toronto-based DJ and production outfit deeply rooted in deep and soulful house music.
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The Seánpod, hosted by Comedian Seán Cullen, is a feast of rambling silliness punctuated by music, special guests and Seán's Impromptu Radio Theatre. Those who loved CBC's Simply Seán, or the Seán Schau will revel in this podcast.
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Two 8th grade students who like to ask guests, "Would you rathers!" Cover art photo provided by JJ Ying on Unsplash: https://unsplash.com/@jjying
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Cullen and Jordan review 7th Heaven: The Podcast is a podcast wherein Cullen and Jordan review 7th heaven: the podcast. Wait, what? Neither of these boys have seen an episode of 7th heaven in their lives. Why do they watch it? They're not sure. Most likely, it's because Cullen is in Canada and Jordan is in Washington and they need to talk about something. Contact: [email protected]
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Learn English with Cullen Winner of The Australian Podcast Awards Castaway most popular vote category in Lifestyle, Health and Wellness. Download the app for lessons one to five. http://bit.ly/EnglishLesson1 Listen carefully to lessons one to five as we arrive in a new country. Here are a few of the ideas we use to help you in this lesson one to five for beginners. Download the app on http://eattmag.com/ to assist you after you have heard the recording once. What kind of questions are we goi ...
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Absolute Cuts #113 - THE GODFATHER
1:57:44
1:57:44
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1:57:44"I'll make him an offer he can't refuse." Episode 113 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1972 horse heading, tollbooth massacring, connoli taking classic The Godfather. Ryan and Mark discuss Christmas ads, Lily Allen and the size of Sonny Corleone's dong. Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast,…
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Absolute Cuts #112 - THE OTHER GUYS
1:22:10
1:22:10
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1:22:10"I am a peacock, you gotta let me fly" Episode 112 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2010 TLC quoting, Gator pimping, Dirty Mike and The Boys-ing classic The Other Guys. Ryan and Mark discuss first getting Sky TV, where we rank in ugly podcasters and the comedy genius of Michael Keaton. Please get in touch and let …
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Absolute Cuts #111 - THE EXORCIST (HALLOWEEN SPECIAL)
1:21:23
1:21:23
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1:21:23"The power of Christ compels you" Episode 111 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1973 head spinning, pea soup vomiting, Mother sucks cocks in hell-ing classic The Exorcist. Ryan and Mark discuss their Halloween costumes, misogyny in the car and why we love big Pazuzu. Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy…
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Absolute Cuts #110 - THE RITUAL (HALLOWEEN SPECIAL)
1:33:25
1:33:25
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1:33:25"My old scoutmaster used to say 'If the shortcut was a shortcut, it wouldn't be called a shortcut, it would be called a route" Episode 110 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2017 off license murdering, Swedish hiking, sacrifice to a massive goating classic The Ritual. Ryan and Mark discuss why men like each other mo…
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Absolute Cuts #109 - ROCKY
1:24:11
1:24:11
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1:24:11"Aaaaaaaddddddddrrrrrrrriiiiiiiiaaaaaaaannnnnnnn" Episode 109 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1976 meat pounding, stair running, Italian Stallioning classic Rocky. Ryan and Mark discuss online trolls, Chat GPTs writing us some jokes and the morals of allowing someone with learning difficulties take on a world tit…
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Absolute Cuts #108 - FOUR LIONS
1:16:02
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1:16:02"Rubber dinghy rapids bro." Episode 108 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2010 bleach buying, crow exploding, Dancing In The Moonlighting classic Four Lions. Ryan and Mark discuss taking photos at Auschwitz, Donald Trump impressions and why this is the darkest comedy you will see. Please get in touch and let us kno…
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Absolute Cuts #107 - INDECENT PROPOSAL
1:42:17
1:42:17
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1:42:17"Would you mind lending me your wife?" Episode 107 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1993 old man pumping, brick metaphoring, hippo auctioning classic Indecent Proposal. Ryan and Mark discuss memorials, dirty talk in bed and ask why the fuck Billy Connolly is in this film. Please get in touch and let us know if you…
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Absolute Cuts #106 - BRAVEHEART
1:20:56
1:20:56
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1:20:56"FREEEEEEEEEEEEEEDOM" Episode 106 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1995 primo noctusing, York sacking, hung drawn and quaretering classic Blraveheart. Ryan and Mark discuss soap operas, multiple celebrity deaths and try to figure out whether anything in this film is accurate. Please get in touch and let us know if…
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Absolute Cuts #105 - BLACK SWAN
1:23:52
1:23:52
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1:23:52"I just want to be perfect" Episode 105 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2010 pirouette-ing, plié-ing, arabesque-ing classic Black Swan. Ryan and Mark discuss pickling things, what you would do if you won the lottery and why most actors don't deserve to win Oscars. Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy …
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Absolute Cuts #104 - SE7EN
1:11:12
1:11:12
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1:11:12"What's in the box"? Episode 104 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1995 force feeding, Wild Bill leathering, deadly sinning classic Se7en. Ryan and Mark discuss being in the Outer Hebrides, how you lamp someone and the best way to prevent being sexually assaulted in prison. Please get in touch and let us know if yo…
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Absolute Cuts #103 - SUPERMAN (1978)
1:21:25
1:21:25
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1:21:25"Your name is Kal-El. You are the only survivor of the planet Krypton." Episode 103 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1978 earth spinning, cape swaying, fortress of solituding classic Superman. Ryan and Mark discuss the Fringe, unappreciative children and whether there was any need to see baby Superman's penis. Ple…
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Absolute Cuts #102 - HARD BOILED
1:09:08
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1:09:08"Give a guy a gun, he thinks he's Superman. Give him two and he thinks he's God." Episode 102 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1992 bird cage smashing, library assassining, shootout baby carrying classic Hard Boiled. Ryan and Mark discuss losing to the homeless, shite trains and why Hong Kong's police force is the…
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Absolute Cuts #101 - RESERVOIR DOGS
1:16:12
1:16:12
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1:16:12"Are you gonna bark all day little doggy, or are you gonna bite?" Episode 101 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1992 ear-slicing, Like A Virgin-ing, Super Sounds of the 70's-ing, classic Reservoir Dogs. Ryan and Mark discuss their festival weekend, The Lionnesses and Nelson suggests this film created podcasts. Plea…
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Absolute Cuts #100 - JAWS
1:27:46
1:27:46
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1:27:46"Here's to swimming with bow-legged women" Episode 100 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1975 child eating, barrel raising, farewell and adieuing classic, abd GREATEST FILM EVER MADE Jaws. Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd like to see on in future episodes and to sugges…
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Absolute Cuts #99 - HEAT
1:25:59
1:25:59
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1:25:59"For me the action is the juice" Episode 99 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1995 armoured car ramming, street shootouting, GREAT ASSing classic Heat. Ryan and Mark talk about the deaths of Ozzy Osbourne and Hulk Hogan, the Coldplay couple and decide on who is better, Pacino or De Niro. Please get in touch and let…
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Absolute Cuts #98 - DIRTY DANCING
1:37:14
1:37:14
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1:37:14"Nobody puts baby in the corner" Episode 98 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1987 watermelon carrying, backstreet abortioning, time of my lifeing classic Dirty Dancing. Ryan and Mark talk about Nelson's holiday scam, autistic celebrities and why Swayze deserved a better career. Please get in touch and let us know …
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Absolute Cuts #97 - JUMPER
1:24:45
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1:24:45"I told you I'm different. I could have dropped you with the sharks." Episode 97 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2008 Sphinx squatting, Colliseum scrapping, blond Samuel L Jacksoning disaster Jumper. Ryan and Mark talk about things being gay, Cullen ruining yet another Whatsapp group and why Hayden Christiansen h…
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Absolute Cuts #96 - THE WOLF OF WALL STREET
1:31:25
1:31:25
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1:31:25"Sell me this pen." Episode 96 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2013 dwarf tossing, lude tanning, fun couponing classic The Wolf Of Wall Street. Ryan and Mark talk about Bonnie Blue, lawless golf and whether this film glamourises being a horrible human being. Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the po…
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Absolute Cuts #95 - WANTED
1:23:44
1:23:44
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1:23:44"I say kill them all, and let fate sort out the mess." Episode 95 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2008 keyboard smashing, rat exploding, bullet bending classic Wanted. Ryan and Mark talk about fridges, the population of Andorra and what Arnold Schwarzenegger says during sex. Please get in touch and let us know if…
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Absolute Cuts #94 - CHINATOWN
1:01:05
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1:01:05"Have you ever heard the expression "Let sleeping dogs lie"? Sometimes you're better off not knowing." Episode 94 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1974 water warring, nose slicing, sister and daughtering classic Chinatown. Ryan and Mark talk about Nelson dying his hair again, World War 3 and the horribleness of Ro…
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Absolute Cuts #93 - FOOTLOOSE
1:16:11
1:16:11
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1:16:11"Did you ever get busted for bopping?" Episode 93 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1984 tractor chickening, mill swinging, Sunday shoe kicking offing disaster Footloose Ryan and Mark talk about the size of Cullen balls, Chat GPT and why no one in the film can actually dance. Please get in touch and let us know if …
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Absolute Cuts #92 : SCHINDLER'S LIST
1:18:23
1:18:23
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1:18:23“Whoever saves one life, saves the world entire.” Episode 92 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1993 enamel making, red coat wearing, hope reaffirming classic Schindler's List. Ryan and Mark talk about Sydney Sweeney's bath water, mental books for kids and find out a wild nearly casting for this film. Please get in …
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Absolute Cuts #91 : MISSION IMPOSSIBLE II
1:21:18
1:21:18
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1:21:18"This is not mission difficult, Mr. Hunt, it's mission impossible. 'Difficult' should be a walk in the park for you." Episode 91 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2000 , rock climbing, disease creating, motorbike jousting classic Mission Impossible II. Ryan and Mark talk about farting on cakes, Napoli and why Ethan…
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Absolute Cuts # 90- SLITHER
1:24:32
1:24:32
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1:24:32"It's obvious the bastard's got Lyme disease" Episode 90 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2006 tentacle probing, bath worming, exploding in a barn-ing classic Slither. Ryan and Mark talk about Cullen's memorable taxi journey, blood tests and why this is the most fucked up film they have seen in a long time. Please…
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Absolute Cuts #89 : STAND BY ME
1:22:27
1:22:27
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1:22:27"I never had any friends later on like the ones I had when I was twelve" Episode 89 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1986 child smoking, leech pulling, competitive pie eating classic Stand By Me. Ryan and Mark talk about if certain things would get you arrested, Cullen conquering LA and how you should remove a lee…
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Absolute Cuts #88 : TOMBSTONE
1:35:29
1:35:29
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1:35:29"I'm your huckleberry" Episode 88 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1993 lungering, opium tanning, pistol whipping classic Tombstone. Ryan and Mark talk about how pish coffee is, golf and what character we would be in a Western. Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd like to…
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Absolute Cuts #87 : DOGMA
1:21:55
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1:21:55"Snootch to the motherfuckin' nootch" Episode 87 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1999 fallen angel-ing, last scion-ing, female Almighty-ing classic Dogma. Ryan and Mark talk about pilates, Kneecap, and Nelson asks the most controversial question on the podcast to date. Please get in touch and let us know if you e…
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Absolute Cuts #86 : MISSISSIPPI BURNING
1:10:03
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1:10:03"You know what, Anderson? You're starting to get so far up my nose, I'm beginning to feel your boots on my chin!" Episode 86 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1989 cornholing, shitkicking, good ole boying classic Mississippi Burning. Ryan and Mark talk about Judas, Willem Dafoe's cock and Cullen reveals the most me…
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Absolute Cuts #85 : ROMEO MUST DIE
1:06:50
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1:06:50"Guns don't kill people. People kill people" Episode 85 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2000 xray showing, DMXing, Aaliyahing pile of shit Romeo Must Die. Ryan and Mark talk about crows, offensive Irish jokes and Nelson gets Cullen with the best one for a while. Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy th…
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Absolute Cuts #84 : SHAUN OF THE DEAD
1:05:29
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1:05:29"You've got red on you" Episode 84 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2004 flesh eating, Mother shooting, Don't Stop Me Now-ing classic Shaun Of The Dead. Ryan and Mark talk about pig farms, comfortable shoes and the best weapon to kill a zombie. Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what gue…
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Absolute Cuts #83 : AUSTIN POWERS INTERNATIONAL MAN OF MYSTERY
59:57
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59:57“Allow myself to introduce... myself.” Episode 83 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1997 shagadelicking, big bag of ssshhing, yeah babying classic Austin Powers. Ryan and Mark talk about aspirin, Val Kilmer and disagree over how hot Elizabeth Hurley is. Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, …
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Absolute Cuts #82 : THE LONGEST YARD
59:26
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59:26“You gotta always protect the McNuggets” Episode 82 of Absolute Cuts sees host Ryan Cullen and special guest host Daniel Sloss discuss the 2005 drunk driving, sadistic wardening, convict touchdowning classic The Longest Yard. Ryan and Daniel talk about WhatsApp group nicknames, Karl Urban & fight about their movie tastes. Normal service resumes nex…
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Absolute Cuts #81 - THE QUEEN
1:17:06
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1:17:06"And remember, it's "Ma'am" as in "ham", not "Ma'am" as in "farm"." Episode 81 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2006 stag hunting, curtseying, People's Princess murdering classic The Queen. Mark & Ryan talk about St Paddy's Day, Nelson's first lads holiday and find out the dogs were the real stars of this film. Pl…
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Absolute Cuts #80 - WHIPLASH
1:31:53
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1:31:53"Now were you rushing or were you dragging?" Episode 80 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2014 chair hurling, finger bleeding, Caravaning classic Whiplash. Mark & Ryan talk about breakfast in a bag, the Glastonbury line up and what is more important, greatness or happiness? Please get in touch and let us know if yo…
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Absolute Cuts #79 - THE NAKED GUN
1:17:30
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1:17:30"Nice beaver" Episode 79 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1988 Queen first pitching, dual safe sexing, OJ Simpsoning classic The Naked Gun. Mark & Ryan talk about modern audiences, getting out of jury duty, and why this film deserved an Oscar. Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what gues…
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Absolute Cuts #78 - THE SNAPPER
1:12:17
1:12:17
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1:12:17"I suppose a ride is out of the question?" Episode 78 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1993 Spanish sailoring, pints with the ladsing, drinking while pregnanting classic The Snapper. Mark & Ryan discuss eating chicken in bed, Popes and whether this is the most Irish film ever made. Please get in touch and let us k…
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Absolute Cuts #77 - BRIDGET JONES'S DIARY
1:17:46
1:17:46
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1:17:46"This is an occasion for genuinely tiny knickers." Episode 77 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2001 chain smoking, Chardonnay drinking, massive pant wearing horror show Bridget Jones's Diary. Mark & Ryan discuss Amsterdam, Ozempic and why there only seemed to be about 12 English actors through the whole of the 90s…
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Absolute Cuts #76 - ANACONDA
1:04:32
1:04:32
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1:04:32"The last time I was in water like this I had to stay up all night picking leeches off my scrotum" Episode 76 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1997 wasp choking, Owen Wilson shagging, sneering at J-Loing classic Anaconda. Mark & Ryan discuss ruining wrestling for kids, Cullen Oscar play offing Nelson and fucking J…
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Absolute Cuts #75 - SIGNS
1:15:17
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1:15:17"Swing away Merrill" Episode 75 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2002 crop circling, faith losing, half water drinking classic Signs. Mark & Ryan discuss what they would do to each other's corpses, where Cullen has stuck his inhaler and Nelson presents another of his theories about this film. Please get in touch a…
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Absolute Cuts #74 - JOHN TUCKER MUST DIE
1:20:33
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1:20:33“I'd hit him with my car if he wouldn't make body casts a fashion statement" Episode 74 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2006 thong wearing, oestrogen slurping, herpes advertising bin fire John Tucker Must Die. Mark & Ryan discuss Nazis in the White House, speaking Czech and why it would be better if someone actua…
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Absolute Cuts #73 - SPEED
1:37:09
1:37:09
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1:37:09"Pop quiz hot shot” Episode 73 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1994 lift dropping, subway beheading, 50mph-ing classic Speed. Mark & Ryan discuss why you don’t get many mad bastards anymore, Nelson explains his marathon idea and whether Keane belongs on the action star Mount Rushmore. Please get in touch and let …
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Absolute Cuts #72 - THE NIGHT BEFORE (CHRISTMAS SPECIAL)
1:15:09
1:15:09
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1:15:09"Don't do my dad doggy-style. He's got very bad knees." Episode 72 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2015 Nutcracker Balling, Cocaine blooding, Miley Cyrusing classic The Night Before. Mark & Ryan discuss Bram Stoker, how Christopher Reeve died and Ryan revisits his hatred of Anthony Mackie. Please get in touch and…
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Absolute Cuts #71 - DIE HARD (CHRISTMAS SPECIAL)
1:33:30
1:33:30
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1:33:30"Come out to the coast, we'll get together, have a few laughs" Episode 71 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1988 bare footing, yippe ki aying, now I have a machine gunning classic Die Hard. Mark & Ryan discuss shite advent calendars, Nelson's anti ageing process and what Die Hard is really about. Please get in touc…
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Absolute Cuts #70 - ELF (CHRISTMAS SPECIAL)
1:20:39
1:20:39
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1:20:39"SANTA" Episode 70 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the twirly wirly gum dropping, son of a nutcrackering, cotton headed ninimugginsing classic Elf. Mark & Ryan discuss hangover cures, the state of modern society and Nelson ruins yet another family favourite with his theories. Please get in touch and let us know if yo…
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Absolute Cuts #69 - HOME ALONE 2 : LOST IN NEW YORK (CHRISTMAS SPECIAL)
1:18:39
1:18:39
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1:18:39"Merry Christmas ya filthy animal...and a happy New Year" Episode 69 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1992 bird womaning, sticky banditing, Trump cameoing classic Home Alone 2 : Lost In New York. Mark & Ryan discuss dodgy tax deductions, balloon sculpting and Nelson builds on his theories about Peter McAllister an…
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Absolute Cuts #68 - THE BUSINESS
1:26:38
1:26:38
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1:26:38"Better to be someone for a day than no one for a lifetime." Episode 68 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2005 sheep shooting, FILA wearing, cunt ordering classic The Business. Mark & Ryan discuss dentists, Wicked and Nelson reveals the wildest film fact yet. Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the pod…
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Absolute Cuts #67 - FERRIS BUELLER'S DAY OFF
1:13:11
1:13:11
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1:13:11"Life moves pretty fast. If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you might miss it" Episode 67 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1986 school skipping, Ferrari joyriding, Danke Schoening classic Ferris Bueller's Day Off. Mark & Ryan discuss Gladiator 2, what happened to Cullen's socks and Nelson presents …
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Absolute Cuts #66- FIRST BLOOD
1:16:55
1:16:55
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1:16:55"I'll give you a war you wouldn't believe." Episode 66 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 1982 vagrant arresting, mineshaft crawling, PTSDing classic First Blood. Mark & Ryan discuss poppies, why London is shite and the Mount Rushmore of action stars. Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, wha…
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Absolute Cuts #65 - SEVEN PSYCHOPATHS
1:23:37
1:23:37
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1:23:37"You can't let the animals die in a movie, only the women." Episode 65 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2012 dog kidnapping, Irish alcoholicing, Joshua Tree shoot-outing classic Seven Psychopaths. Mark & Ryan discuss the US election result, the Edinburgh beheading and whether Cullen is a psychopath. Please get in …
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Absolute Cuts #64 - WRONG TURN (Halloween Special)
1:14:30
1:14:30
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1:14:30"We are never going into the woods again" Episode 64 of Absolute Cuts sees hosts Mark Nelson and Ryan Cullen discuss the 2003 organ jarring, rednecking, in breeding horror Wrong Turn. Mark & Ryan discuss stealing from train companies, Trump on Rogan and cannibals. Please get in touch and let us know if you enjoy the podcast, what guests you'd like …
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