พอดคาสท์ Close Your Eyes ชั้นนำ (2024)

1
Grandson 1:09:32

1d ago1:09:32

1:09:32

LB, Niki and John, having achieved unparalleled success as super-famous TikTok influencers, return to their humble podcasting roots for another round of important discussions, including (but not limited to) how much of acting is just demon possession, that Drew Carey tweet, white people music, discovering the source of 95% of the stress in LB's lif…

1
I Want to Give You $700 1:04:45

8d ago1:04:45

1:04:45

With John trapped in the 1990s, producer Jordan joins Niki and LB for the typical weekly slate of activities, which includes inventing new kinds of gambling, coming up with a new big titty anime lady-based form of financial investment, peeing into the little cup, Niki's new friend Juliette, and somehow ... even more. Welcome to If You're Driving, C…

1
Ducks in the Hood 1:09:11

15d ago1:09:11

1:09:11

With Jordan back on the sticks, LB, John and Niki return to their regular work of discussing the most pressing issues facing today's Sleepy Americans, including the existential pain of being in the audience for bad comedy, the dire comments on our good TikToks, heroin as a venture investment, the good ol' days of file sharing, the best grass for wh…

1
Demonstration of Licking, Eating, and Drinking 1:06:32

22d ago1:06:32

1:06:32

With Jordo away at a sensual conference for banjo frogs, the gang are actually pretty well-behaved. We talk about water bottles, the very worst songs we know, cereal, gifts for kids, and probably even more. I don't remember. Jordo usually writes these and knows what we talked about in the episode. Frankly I'm not sure. It's probably funny though. H…

1
I Want to Eat Metal 1:08:43

29d ago1:08:43

1:08:43

With Niki trapped in the labyrinthine tunnels beneath the Boston Convention and Exhibition Center, emergency reserve friend merritt k joins LB and John to discuss websites about eating metal, Bigfoot's dick, an interesting car LB spotted and its resulting bevy of secrets, who we would impersonate if we were to impersonate a celebrity, the secret to…

1
A Million Monkeys Typing in a Room 1:07:31

1M ago1:07:31

1:07:31

LB, Niki and John open their ongoing notes document and attack this week's agenda, which includes John's new screenplay idea, a new crops-based gambling venture, solving Bruno Mars' gambling debt situation, finding new tax loopholes, addressing the issue of how many years there are, LB's dog's secret Facetime calls to John, a really unfortunate ham…

1
What Can You Do with a Giraffe 1:12:25

1M ago1:12:25

1:12:25

John, LB and Niki take a trip down memory lane, reminiscing over what it was like to live in the era of "the TV is on," in addition to nuanced discussions of softcore pornography; John's dog's ballsack; sending butthole pics to Matt; if Starbucks had a conversation pit; soaking; the return of MAUL WATCH; Niki's Tiktok dream; and darlin', somehow ev…

1
Body Part of a White Person 1:05:22

2M ago1:05:22

1:05:22

The crying sky of Los Angeles, which cannot be consoled, will not prevent LB, Niki and John from discussing the various ongoing perils surrounding one of history's greatest sports (video games), in addition to Niki's mounting CPAP debt; bog standard cheating on your wife stuff; getting AMPED; lesbians!!!; if bus is car; more quality products from t…

1
Revelation | S1E9 (Season Finale) 30:47

2M ago30:47

30:47

SEASON FINALE || Dylan realizes he's in over his head. Olivia demonstrates her powerful and disturbing hypnotic abilities. Meanwhile Morgan meets with Sally and discovers the real tragedy behind her departure from Topsail... ________________ Created by Jon Rolfe Featuring Elliott Brotherhood, Devon Chandler, Samantha Cooper, Rich Summers, Chelsea K…

1
Adult Woman Pageant 1:10:00

2M ago1:10:00

1:10:00

Niki and LB help an extremely sleepy John overcome his post-flight fatigue by discussing the mysterious woman he saw at the airport; the food in New Orleans; Niki's new best friend Kelly 🤝; LB getting they German passport; if Scandal was made for $10; using Cameo to ask questions questions of the people reading messages on Cameo; and if you can bel…

1
Avalon | S1E8 24:11

2M ago24:11

24:11

Olivia joins Dylan, Sedona & Rob for a day at the beach. Morgan is pressured to reveal the truth about her podcast to Agent Conroy. And The Origin speaks to his followers, revealing a startling truth... ________________ Created by Jon Rolfe Featuring Elliott Brotherhood, Devon Chandler, Samantha Cooper, Rich Summers, Chelsea Krause, Barron B Bass, …

1
I'll Eat Your Onions? 1:02:23

2M ago1:02:23

1:02:23

LB, Niki and John solve the mystery of "what's True Detective," while also tackling a number of simultaneous ongoing cases, including that Britney Spears video where she dies and turns into a baby; LB's great sandwich-based TV show idea; if you can or cannot get pastrami "everywhere;" whether it's easier to get a pumpkin or a tuna; the #1 fragrance…

1
Provenance | S1E7 26:17

2M ago26:17

26:17

Morgan grows impatient and concerned with how much time Dylan is spending at The Resort. Dylan explores a puzzling dream during a hypnosis session and attempts to gain Olivia's trust... ________________ Created by Jon Rolfe Featuring Elliott Brotherhood, Devon Chandler, Samantha Cooper, Rich Summers, Chelsea Krause, Alex Eller, & Sarah Ruth Thomas.…

1
Lest I Piss on My Dog 1:02:54

2M ago1:02:54

1:02:54

LB, John and Niki carve time from their busy schedules to tackle a handful of new issues facing America's Sleepiest Americans™, including hummingbird tongues, all the stuff they cut from the Bible, what happens to us after we die, Creed's 2001 Thanksgiving Day NFL Halftime Show, a Pokemon lawsuit, lying about limes, picking your daytime television …

1
The Resort | S1E6 28:40

2M ago28:40

28:40

Dylan is taken to "The Resort", a remote location on the coast where Ignota members further their mental abilities. Sally Monroe makes contact with Morgan and describes her experience at Topsail... ________________ Created by Jon Rolfe Featuring Elliott Brotherhood, Samantha Cooper, Rich Summers, Chelsea Krause, Alex Eller, Jamie-Lynn Markos, Devon…

1
2 for $2X 1:05:56

3M ago1:05:56

1:05:56

John, LB and Niki continue their attempts at navigating an ongoing legal crisis involving Darth Maul and 30-65 missing children, while also discussing the best date ideas, skipping dating entirely, recovering from bad dates, trying to convince a group of friends with a horrible television that the version of Shrek you're watching has been remastere…

1
Caleb | S1E5 26:10

3M ago26:10

26:10

Morgan digs into Topsail's past and discovers a mysterious death under investigation by the FBI. Meanwhile Dylan shares his story about what happened to Caleb, and receives an unexpected invitation... ________________ Created by Jon Rolfe Featuring Elliott Brotherhood, Samantha Cooper, Corey Bain, Barron B Bass, Devon Chandler, Nina Auburn & Sarah …

1
Give a Kid, Take a Kid 49:42

3M ago49:42

49:42

Niki, John and LB, who are no longer saying the name of the show for legal reasons, discuss the latest details of the missing children/Darth Maul situation; Palmdale, CA; robot-style Pinocchio; half of this podcast's love for Coheed and Cambria; Los Angeles highway lore; some sports guy's "beautiful ass;" and predictably, so much more. Welcome to I…

1
Regression | S1E4 27:15

3M ago27:15

27:15

An unconscious Jane Doe is found to be a missing actress with connections to Ignota. Dylan is summoned to another meeting and experiences his first regression... _______________ Created by Jon Rolfe Featuring Elliott Brotherhood, Samantha Cooper, Melissa Medina, Nina Auburn, Rich Summers, Marlon Dance-Hooi, Devon Chandler, Chelsea Krause & Sarah Ru…

1
Sorry You Missed Me 1:16:31

3M ago1:16:31

1:16:31

With Jordan back at the helm, LB, John and Niki discuss the density of psychics in southern California, an interesting van LB saw on the street recently, John's very normal Tiktok comment (and its implications for his general mental health situation), Scary Spice's lesbian power, the Oscars, 10 minutes of undocumented conversation where Jordan was …

1
Processing | S1E3 21:27

3M ago21:27

21:27

Dylan goes to his first Ignota meeting and takes an unusual test. Meanwhile, Morgan attempts to track down Sally Monroe, a former member of the group... _______________ Created by Jon Rolfe Featuring Elliott Brotherhood, Samantha Cooper, Ray O'Hare, Nina Auburn, Rich Summers, Marlon Dance-Hooi & Sarah Ruth Thomas. ________________ Show Artwork by O…

1
Movies Tagged ‘Hole’ 1:09:49

3M ago1:09:49

1:09:49

John, Niki and LB record without their producer, Jordan, who is sick this week. He's also the one who usually takes notes and writes these summaries, but again, he's sick, so, that's not happening. Genuinely no idea what's in this one folks, it could be our funniest episode to date and/or our most offensive -- there's only one way to find out. Welc…

1
Ignota | S1E2 21:43

3M ago21:43

21:43

Dylan gets bad news about his mother. Morgan finds out more about Ignota and makes connections with a support group who believe it's a dangerous cult... _______________ Created by Jon Rolfe Featuring Ryan Perera, Elliott Brotherhood, Samantha Cooper, Chelsea Krause, Joe Shelton & Sarah Ruth Thomas. _______________ Show Artwork by O2bri Support us o…

1
Believe You Me | S1E1 24:06

3M ago24:06

24:06

A troubling string of text messages prompt a hot shot sales executive to investigate a mysterious Bay Area cult. They call themselves Ignota, and they may know where his missing brother is... ________________ Created by Jon Rolfe Featuring Devon Chandler, Whitney Holland, Bradley Gareth, Elliott Brotherhood, Samantha Cooper, Chelsea Krause, & Sarah…

1
Baby Deodorant 57:28

4M ago57:28

57:28

To help with the enormous legal fees we expect this year, LB, John and Niki present three new multi-level marketing programs that can help empower YOU while empowering us. They also discuss street marshmallows, the lawyer that rocks, going psycho mode on bevs in the disco, babe x wilbur AO3, making June a week shorter, and somehow, even more. Welco…

1
Mouseketeers, Alive and Dead 53:38

4M ago53:38

53:38

John, Niki and LB return from their long winter's nap, rejuvenated and ready to tackle the ongoing missing persons case involving Darth Maul and a few dozen children left in their care. On the way, they also discuss who has the sweetest sweat on the Clippers roster, John's word for the new year, going to Turkey for a hair transplant, whose death we…

1
From Your Friends at Mc.P.P 1:20:10

4M ago1:20:10

1:20:10

In what might be considered a Reverse Christmas Miracle, LB, Niki and John and have lost all 30-65 children that reportedly attend Drivey's Ed., our montessori school for babies with rich parents. Since you can't have a Christmas Pageant without adorable kids, we instead initiate a last-minute pivot to the next best thing, which is buying gifts for…

1
Drivey's Ed. (UNLOCKED 2022 PATREON HOLIDAY SPECIAL!!) 1:09:02

5M ago1:09:02

1:09:02

Last year's Patreon-only Holiday special is now available to all! It's an eyes-closed miracle!! John, Niki and LB organize the upcoming children's holiday pageant at the charter school they've opened, If You're Driving Academy, also known affectionately to students as "Drivey's Ed." Hope you used the bathroom before you got here! Welcome to If You'…

1
Toys for Men Mastabator 1:05:26

5M ago1:05:26

1:05:26

LB, John and Niki celebrate the long-awaited death of one of history's greatest monsters before moving on to a series of adjacent topics, including grammar rules for sports team names; who's on our Oceans 11 team; getting what you need; the psyop involving "these cups;" the nude figurines LB was talking about earlier; uncovering juicy secrets; the …

1
Gamblit Drinks His Own Juice 1:06:37

5M ago1:06:37

1:06:37

John, LB and Niki set aside their shared turkey sandwich long enough to digest a whole new buffet of controversial topics, including humidity in the city of New Orleans, what languages the owl knows, Gambit's custom turtleneck guy, items left behind on planes, the best place to get locally-grown tobacco in America, LB's growing concerns about Lyme …

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