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That couple is Mark and Jim. During the recording with the Think Drink Disney fellas, Jim dissed Mark even more than normal. Thanks to Mark being a podcasting pro and great editor, you probably didn't even know about it, but in this episode, you'll hear how we worked things out. Extra Kleenex for this one..... Another new friend at Newt's Jim and C…
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One episode was not enough for legends Matt G and Lance from the Think Drink Disney podcast. This time around is a bit less frenetic (look it up Ascertainers followers.... The TDD people probably knew that one already). If you could use a laugh, give this one a listen. Reintroducing Think Drink Disney (TDD) What's with all the Kleenex? Micro Oblite…
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Big week--Matt G and Lance from the Think Drink Disney podcast pay us a visit. Jim has known Lance for going on 20 years and The Ascertainers have looked up to T.D.D. for a while. With four guys in the Dojio (Dojo/Studio--copyright pending), there's a little bit of cross talk and a whole lot of laughs. What The Ascertainers lack in technical profic…
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We spent a little more time at Newt's before recording this one--you decide for yourself if it shows.... Thick glasses? Choose positivity, damn it! Have to or get to? Cheat day Ice Fishing story (a/k/a Aurora BOREalis Newt's is delicious Where the heck is Sara??? John Cameron Swayze Mark's new neighbor Fake meat during Lent Bob Marley Entertainers …
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We were so ready to get started that we skipped the intro. As Ascertainers episodes go, this one is pretty close to the original recipe--50% of people won't like it. The other half will hate it. Enjoy! Big Shots Newts Shoutout--Welcome to MN Ken and Renee! Is it hot out there or is it just us? The two Parris's Think twice about lending Mark your Ja…
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After teasing 1973 as a topic last episode, we decided to actually tackle it this week and stuck with the plan. 1973--come for the easy listening, stay for the easier listening. This one was challenging to spice up. Knee Job Newt's you say? Symbiosis Who bites gum? Paging our German listener 1973--The rise of Heavy Music? Kind of. Mark's guy Eric/T…
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Well, we finally did it--we went the whole episode without talking about our topic-- which does get mentioned in the episode, but since we didn't cover it at all, we don't want to further mislead by using it in the episode title. One way to look at this is that it's like a choose your own adventure. Another way is to question the (lack of) motivati…
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It's been brought to our attention that we maybe not mention a topic in the title of the episode since we only get to the topic with about 11 minutes left (margin of error +/-1 minute). Hey, at least we're consistent--and this one is NO different. We make up for it with extensive inaccurate rumors about former MN Vikings All Pro Safety, Joey Browne…
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Just Mark and Jim on this one. Feeling guilty about not giving his guest/brother much of a chance to speak on Episode 43, Jim vows to do better on this one--and pretty much succeeds. The bar is set pretty low for him. Smiley face emoji Mark's visit to Como Park Zoo Conservatory No gibbons for you today Chuck Foreman When to execute a Chuck-spin Doi…
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Unusual night in that in addition to our typical pre-game visit to Newt's (in Apple Valley--ever heard of it?), we then went into St Paul to catch a live set from the band Feegee (@feegeeband)--who is the technically the artist that recorded the Ascertainers theme. We had a designated driver, our guest for the evening, Jim's brother Steve. As you m…
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At this point, I feel a little bad putting a topic in the title, because we end up getting to the topic in the waning minutes (spoiler alert). Today, we fry some bigger fish with Broadcast Legend and across the street neighbor--Roy! Jim's anatomy Get to know Roy Deep dive into sportscasting, play be play and color commentary Doc Emrick Mark's Disco…
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Special/recurring guest Jason from the 'hood joins us to kick off 2024. After the usual chit chat, we get around to discussing Ballads. Yes, we can see the bottom of the topic bucket--please send in your suggestions to TheAscertainers@gmail.com Also, to help you with the visual, the conversation before the theme music kicks in was about......new mi…
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This is technically our 40th episode (our Special Holiday Episode was not numbered). Jim had to be up early the next morning, so we only recorded one episode. However, we still hit our normal hydration quota, so I don't think we gained much. Also, we decided to try without a topic. Sorry Ma--Forgot to Plug in Your Headphones Radio Game Shoutout Fee…
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It's the most wonderful time of the year--and I don't mean Honda Days. It's Christmas and we are here to wish you and yours a Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Freaky Festivus--whatever you celebrate. Hope you get what you wanted. Will Santa get us a new mixing board? We tease an upcoming special episode release Mark's a Christmas guy--who knew? Paj…
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To help you better understand why Jim is the way he is, we invited his Mom, Ellie, to join us for a special episode. As you will see, she held her own and in spite of a technical blunder--she told us she couldn't hear anything through the headphones, and only after it was over did Mark discover her headphones weren't plugged in. It's a fun episode …
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Big treat for everyone as we are joined by neighbor and broadcast professional, Roy! We laughed, we learned and we give Roy the business pretty good/well. Fun Hibbing MN facts Roy runs, Marks runs and Jim ran Newt's promo--mostly uninterrupted but a bit dull as a result Shout out Roy's baseball buddies Brad and Charlie Radio Game The Outfield contr…
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This is a second recording of the night, and we attempt to not make any date/season references so we can potentially release it at a later date. Spoiler alert--we are bad at this. Jim's brother Jeff joins us again. For fans of Mark pushing Jim's buttons. Shoutout to the creators of our theme music Newt's promo--can I get that with a side of provoca…
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As some already know--don't read too much into the title. We didn't really have a topic going into this one, so if you like the Ascertainers for our ability to rapidly shift from topic to topic with limited redeeming value on any of them--you're going to like this one. If not, maybe sit this one out. Now you want to listen on curiosity alone. Is th…
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A little nostalgia. Mark's red shirt Episode confusion Newspaper article Have you guys heard of Newt's? Table vs Booth Casual Pescatarianism Errors and Omissions Killed a guy International waters Radio Game Air Force self-deprication Newt's has coupons Bath Robe TV theme songs Aaaand it's over #Newts #whatareyouhiding…
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If you're tuning in just for the Friday Night stuff (our original topic), go ahead and fast forward to about 10 minutes left. We still can't budget our time.... Attempts were also made to do a "tight" intro and Newt's promo. We were not successful there either. But hey--you're already here, so give this a listen! Shout out to aspiring podcasters Ma…
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If you can hear this episode, then we haven't been sued yet (check out Ep 31: Jim's Invention). Jim's Bachelor week That one Johnny Depp movie Radio Game Dave Mustaine update Fascinating grammar finds Please stop emailing us! Mark's candy fantasy Weather report Debut Albums Mark sings / T Rex Errors and Omissions Newt's! Scarface The Californians T…
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Buckle up kids. This episode could be considered pretty relaxed by Ascertainer's standards, but there are two bona fide big laughs. I hope we don't need a legal defense fund after this one. How we got our name Thanks to last guests, Chantz and Alex Deadlocked at the golf course Errors and Omissions Last Supper correction Radio Game Newt's promo (al…
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Tough episode to title, but candy seemed to be the common thread. Second episode of the night with Chantz and Alex (Mark's son and his buddy). Fiance: It's just a funny word with a little accent thrown in Alex's cry for help Plea for social media followers Radio Game Update Patty Smyth? Milk Duds Sock Theory Mark's new dryer Chantz and Alex's fitne…
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We've evolved to a 4 microphone enterprise and the debut of 4 voices actually went OK. Tonight, we are joined by Chantz (Mark's oldest son) and Alex (Chantz's buddy and top Ascertainers fan), We have gone over 1,000 downloads! Who knew?? Thanks to all who've listened Introducing our guests Chantz takes the wheel Crazy Lead Singers Alex tries to tel…
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This one starts with an unusually winding introduction including our first female voice. Jim swears way less. Farmer's Almanac Mark's Wife Cameo Why we regret doing Movie Soundtracks as a topic Moonlight Mile Swear Jar Radio Game Josh Duhamel Movie Soundtracks Newt's Promo--Sara is MVP and New Special Waning or Waxing Moon Phases (Nerd Alert) Dinne…
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First and foremost--Jim swore way too much on this episode. He (I) counted the F bombs and the sum is either impressive or embarrassing. Shield your kids from this one. It's not even good, quality swearing. It's gratuitous, like every 80's movie showing boobs--whether it added to the story or not. Bad example. I'll do better. 6-month anniversary: S…
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We bring back our first ever guest, Jason a/k/a The Flip Flop Wearing Weed Whipper! Mark puts the mock in mock turtleneck Jim sucks at golf Vikings off to horrible start Wedding talk Tattoo talk MARK's PROFESSION FINALLY REVEALED More tattoo talk Newt's promo--including the best alternate word for pescatarian yet! Ketchup Finally, our top Led Zeppe…
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Episode 25 already? As mentioned previously, you'd think we'd be better at this, but we forge ahead. This episode is one of those where we record two in one night because of a scheduling conflict down the road. Translation: Words will be slurred. Mark Makes his wife mad at "the" Newt's Mark's new neighbor not impressed Sound effects Apologies to th…
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Listen closely and you will hear that the theme music has been re-recorded and sounds a little more warm and natural. Shout out to Audie AD and PW! Gotta be honest, this episode is very under control "in control." Some may find it boring, others soothing. Maybe don't operate heavy machinery while listening. That's what our lawyers asked me to say. …
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We get to the Beatles eventually, but before that, we have other important items like: Mark's new shirt color: Vitamin Piss (that better be a band name already) Two weeks of golf recaps 911--what's your emergency? Audie Pat stiffs Mark--again! RIP Audie CN "N" How to mispronounce Mea Culpa Jim's childhood goal--Ornathology Grackle Parmesan (another…
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Apparently, people who listen to this have too many T-shirts, because we didn't have to send any out this week! Is this thing even on (see what I did there with the title)? Pretty standard episode: Mark beat Jim in golf again (and gets a little cocky--stay tuned to see how that works out) We talk Newt's--including, "The Sara Spinaround," Jim puts h…
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This one was recorded as a bonus episode that we could have on the shelf for a rainy day--then we realized we needed it right away, so it's literally being released in the order it was recorded.... For those that still think we are a music podcast, buckle up, because there's plenty of that ahead--as well as some very, very random stuff. Think twice…
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What in the world?? 20 episodes already? When we began this folly, I'm not sure either of us thought we'd make it to 20! You'd think we'd be so much better with that much practice... Because this episode was recorded after 2 previously recorded episodes were aired, there was a lot of time needed for Mark to correct/analyze/deflect, etc from those 2…
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As you will discover early on, this is the second episode of the night and we have remained well hydrated on account of the hot weather... Typical episode with no real intellectual value, but a few laughs are there for the taking. Tom Hanks, Super Roadie MN Weather and Weather Personalities Are they really a Dr? When to leave a party Uli Jon Roth J…
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Episode 18 is a case study in ADHD. We are all over the map--even more than usual... Mark's salmon shirt Crayons--specifically Burnt Orange Mark sends Jim back to Episode 1 Ascertainers Facebook page excuses Quarterback Shout out to You Betcha Guy The most obscure Radio Game to date Quadriceps Contusion Phil Collins controversy reboot Jim's Ram Jam…
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As the title indicates, bit of a mixed bag. We get into music a little later, but you have to battle your way to the prize. Jim's Community Service Mark Beats Jim at Golf (a/k/a Blind squirrel finds nut) Errors and Omissions Big night at Newt's Mark gets snubbed by an Audie! Blue Swede or Blue Suede? Radio Game: Pablo Cruise and the Aztecs RIP to o…
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As the title indicates, we had a visitor on this episode. What's kind of interesting is that we had been in the basement and recorded one episode before we saw the vermin. Then he became fearless and we're lucky to be alive. Second episode with neighbor Charlie. Any early jitters were gone, and we flew through a ton of topics. Here's a recap: Mark'…
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This episode brings us our third guest--Charlie from down the street. Charlie is a former professional broadcaster and decided to slum it for a night with us. High/lowlights include: Mark got beat at golf by a guy wearing jeans More submarine talk--definitely too soon The Marklaughlin group gets destroyed Rick Moranis gets some significant time Jud…
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In Episode 14, Jim feels the need to tighten a few things up now that it looks like we'll be doing this for a while. Mark enjoys his first Newt's sponsor beer Randolph Mantooth is discussed Stage fright at the pee trough Mark's Country Club gets a mention Jim pays the oddest compliment ever about his buddy's podcast The Public Appearance (and what …
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Let's see if the title of this episode attracts or repels listeners. We spend just a little time on Ms Swift early and then move on to our random list of topics that you've grown to love/hate. We now have downloads from 4 countries: USA (USA! USA!), Germany, India and now Canada. How's it goin' up there, eh? Nice fires you hoser. Mark's pop culture…
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Here we are at Episode 12 already. Let's get to the highlights, shall we? Mark still gets the newspaper. The Ascertainers secured their exclusive Newt's sponsorship. Mark won the Radio Game (even though he could have been disqualified). In case you missed the second bullet point--WE GOT A HANDSHAKE DEAL. AT NEWT'S! Sure, it's got a few caveats and …
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So, this episode was recorded immediately after we finished Episode 9 (Underrated Bands) because we want to get a couple extra episodes in for when we can't swing a weekly recording session. As a result, we are well-oiled and a little loud (OK, Jim is a lot loud at times--very sorry). In this episode, you will hear: Too many Newt's mentions. Guest,…
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This one starts off innocently enough but takes a few twists and turns. There are laughs to be had, so it may still be worth a listen. Pretty significant fail while trying to gain efficiencies by slimming down the intro and Radio Game explanation. We discuss the different restaurant we tried while we have Newt's sweat out our negotiation tactics. R…
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How did we make it to Episode 9 already? We had no expectations going into this--which is probably a good thing, since we haven't delivered much. We are still having fun though, so we'll forge ahead. Thank you for listening! On this episode, you'll hear: A shout out to our German listener Mark's case of mistaken identity (or is it his alter ego?) (…
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We are already tired of each other, so we added a guest this week. You may remember him referenced in Episode 7 as the tank top/flip flop wearing weed whipper. That's right Audie J (a/k/a JT) joins us as we talk about more music, revisions to top 5 bands from our youth and general Tom Foolery. We are 0 for 3 on the Radio Game, although someone had …
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Will Episode 7 be lucky? You tell us. Week 2 of the Radio Game--more like weak 2. No winner. Kentucky Derby Wager Results and a half retraction. Newt's Sponsorship update. Listener suggestion--Top 5 Bands (from High School). Neighborhood observations. Improper weed whipping footwear. Mark remembers his lawn being "the best." Headphones/Spanish Clas…
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You talked, we listened! We tapped a local artist to create a little theme music. He had heard a few episodes and put together a little number that he felt exemplified our mojo. Big thanks to Audie for the music. In this episode we learn about Mark's tendency to be a bit particular (When you say anal, it's OK, but when you type it......particular l…
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We made it to Episode 5. If this is your first time listening, where have you been? Listening to Mick Jagger music and bad-mouthing your country I'll bet (Bonus points if you can name the movie). This should be our last music-free Episode as we are anticipating a juicy new original tune written especially for the podcast. The Episode starts with a …
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In Episode 4, Mark and Jim reveal some of the feedback they've received. Yes, between the email (theascertainers@gmail.com) and texts, they now have feedback. By all accounts, they liked it better before there was feedback. What do the people want to hear? Bumper music. That's pretty much it. The assumption is that the music will take over and Mark…
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Mark and Jim search for the correct balance of being cordial/raking the other over the coals, as we arrive at Episode 3. Mark goes full geek as he discusses his love for Star Trek and delights Jim with his retelling of when Spock got the Spores. Battlestar Galactica fans will be happy to know that Mark is fully in the tank for the remake. We briefl…
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