Manage episode 281360652 series 2848350
126: Criticism Won't Kill You (It Really Won't ... It's Self-Love)
I want to share with you today a little bit about self-love but it’s all about this topic called Criticism Won't Kill You. Yes, it really won’t kill you.
Now it is said that people are more afraid of public speaking than of dying, but there’s a more destructive and crippling fear – the fear of being criticized.
This fear keeps you hostage and holds you back and makes you give up your dreams. It literally holds back your second chance, it keeps you awake at night and causes you to play really small in the world.
It especially affects entrepreneurs, writers, singers, actors, or anyone in a creative profession. So if you’ve ever set up a blog, then you probably understand the fear of being criticized online when you’re sharing yourself publicly.
Even on Facebook, you probably see and hear people talking negatively about you as well.
What if people don’t like what I have to say?
What if they think I’m stupid?
What if people don’t like me?
Especially in today’s society when online bullying is so rampant or the cancel culture is so rampant, anyone who shares regularly on social media like LinkedIn, Facebook, Twitter, Youtube, a blog, or even a podcast, is bound to get some ill-intentioned or even downright nasty comments directed at them.
Fear of criticism can hold you back from starting a business
03:21- 03:39 Fear of criticism can hold you back from starting a business you think is a great idea, writing that book that’s been keeping you awake at night, or from making a big leap like changing careers or even launching a podcast in 48 hours.
The criticism might suck but it will not kill you
04:07- 04:11 Now here’s the thing, the criticism might suck but it will not kill you.
You can’t make everyone in the world like me
06:22- 06:25 So I realized that I can’t make everyone in the world like me.
07:24- 07:42 This is why sometimes myself and so many others shy away from putting ourselves and our work out there in the internet world. We’re so afraid that people will misconstrue what we’re doing, make us feel stupid or worthless, or worse think we’re bad people.
07:73- 08:21 But you know what, they are just jealous. Because bad people make nasty comments, but so do other nice people as well. Writing it off as jealousy from an evil person sets up a sense of better than or less than and makes you feel like people are out to get you for your success. This may be the case. To be honest, I don’t think that most people think that much about others, especially strangers. They could be just letting off steam, had a bad day, or just made a snap judgment and couldn’t help themselves from ranting. Either way, it’s their problem, not yours.
Never read your bad press
11:01- 11:14 The fact is – the more well known you become, the more criticism you’ll face. The more successful you become, the more people will feel envy, jealousy, resentment, or disagreement with your ideas.
11:15- 11:31 Consider it a sign of success that you’re generating buzz. Don’t obsess over it or spend hours Googling yourself – it’s not healthy and you can use that energy for living your life beautifully.
What if you deserve the criticism?
11:38- 12:16 As hard as this sounds, sometimes there can be truth to the criticism. Do you want to play devil's advocate? If you’re constantly being told that you miss deadlines, that you are late to meet friends, that you’re unreliable, or if customers are constantly bitching about you then take a good honest look and ask yourself if there’s any truth it in. Yes, it can hurt admitting that you’re wrong, but take it as useful feedback and acknowledge it. People will be less likely to bitch behind your back if you’re truthful about your shortcomings and say sorry if you need to.
12:34- 13:22 What goes around comes around. If you’re being nasty online to others, then chances are it will come back to you eventually. I try very hard not to say anything bad or mean online because people can trace. whatever they post online is searchable on Google. Because I know what it’s like to be on the receiving end of it. I've gone through it myself. If you don’t have any nice thing to say, just don't say anything at all. That doesn’t mean I don’t say what I want to say any more – I just say it to my partner, my very close person, instead of writing it online.
Get excited about criticism
14:10- 14:21 How can you reframe your mindset on criticism as a measure of success? Would you be willing to get excited about every rejection as one step closer to your goal?
15:50 I want to read this with you; “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” - Marianne Williamson, A Course in Miracles
- You can't make people like you.
- They are just jealous.
- Don’t read your bad press.
- Karma got your back,
- Get excited about criticism.
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